8:45 in the morning I could hear her phone ringing. God knows what this girl does all morning. Another day she let us late and she is dead.
“Hello?”
“Hello! Gappy? Chalein?”
“Head out in 2.5 minute”
“I never understand why you always have to give such exact calculations when you are precisely 15 minutes late every day.”
“When you know it, why do you ask every day?”
“Shut up and be quick.”
“Okay”
I know there is no scope of improvement in her timing but I don’t know why I have such high hopes for her waiting for that one day when she would come on time that I end up on that stenchy under bridge only to wait for 15 minutes when she comes waving her hand. Her scooty, nearly gliding with the wind, as with a framework like hers’ even a zephyr would be enough to blow her to half a meter.
“How long have you been waiting?”, I bet she ever asked that as if she actually meant to know.
“Not long. Just came now.” Even if I did tell her I came 10 minutes before what difference was it goanna make for her. After three long years of experience I had finally lost hope of reaching early in class for once.
“May we come in sir?” Though I always cursed Sneha for getting us late for the first class I understood probably 15 minutes late in Raghuvanshi Sir’s mundane Mobile Communication class was a much better option.
“Come in”
I wondered if someday he would say, “What is the use of that watch on your hand when you don’t use it?” Not to mention Sneha’s watch was 5minutes faster than mine.
I could see Swapnil and Apoorva striving hard to pull back their smiles. “Can’t you two come a little early? Why should we save a seat for you every day? Shameless buggers”, Apoorva blurted.
“Shut up Appu,” out came a unanimous scorch.
“It’s your duty to save us a seat.”
“Yes, one day when you will come late and we come early, even we will save a seat for you.”
I raised an eye on Sneha. "Gappy, don’t give hypothetical examples."
Raghuvanshi continued with his usual harassment of English. I might have tried some weird stunts in my college life trying to test my aural powers. From one ear striving to hear what the person on the podium was saying and from the other getting all those reasons to why Munni Bai came late to wash the dishes and why Sneha had to wait for her to leave before she could ride off.
“May I come in Sir?” No matter how late we were, Saleha made sure she came after us not to break the convention of our arrivals. And I could see 100 eyes darting in her direction which she had got used to by the time. I suggest modelling companies should consider hiring average heighted pertaining to the lack of beauty over boldness. If something like this can be implemented she will definitely prove to be a good model material.
After 30 minutes of hard luck I decided to give both my ears some rest. Apoorva and Saleha were discussing some serious issue I could make out from the lack of prompt answers from Apoorva in between the class. After discussing about it for some time they got up from their seats approaching Raghu.
“Sir, I am not feeling well. I keep on coughing all the time.”
“WHAT... you were laughing?” I knew he was a little off beaten with English, but I never thought he might be even impaired with the language. Still I could beat anyone crossing the corridor just outside might not have heard the loud burst of cackle coming from ECE 2008-12 batch.
“No sir, I said I was coughing.”
“Cough outside the window and drink some water you will be alright.” Okay so the cackle was back and as it settled Raghuvanshi gave a stupid grin, “okay, go.” I know Appu would have shattered his teeth if it wasn’t for her grades and just one more year ahead to finally leave this downmarket environment.
I wondered how come she so badly had to go to pee in the first period itself. OH...so you thought she was actually not feeling well because of coughing. Well it was partly true. How can anyone feel well in this condition?
50 minutes of Project Management lecture was more of a speedy writing practice more so often bombarding with the heavy business vocabulary. Sheeba believed in making final year students stand like school kids for every small thing even if you want to ask if you can ask your partner what she dictated just then. I get so emotional in her class, filled with the nostalgia of my days in primary, part of which I don’t even remember. Sheeba continued with her seemingly but not so crammed short notes,” The most important principle of cOntrol (with a double ‘au’ sound). .........”
“Oye......what have you brought for lunch?”
“I don’t know.....beans...maybe.”
“What.....again? Fuck you Vasu.”
“Same to you. What have you got?”
“Aloo ki sabzi. Oye, look around and tell me where Juzar is sitting.”
“Gappy, will you please use the codeword. By the way 5.5 (it’s not five point five please, its sadhe panch. Don’t spoil the spirit of the code.) is sitting right beside you.”
And so she removed her specs trying to get a glance from the corner of her eye. Okay look, we are not serious about anyone till date, but you know what they say,” thodi der ke liye kisi or gaadi me baithna paap hai kya?” Some times hindi movies can be a good source of Tag lines. Thanks to NO ENTRY.
“Stand up and give your roll calls.”
“Oh wow...period khatam. Yippee”, but only so long till Yadav sir came to teach neural networks.
“Shit...Is it going to be Brain Dead Networks? Gappy.....I am going to faint. Quick take me to Amer Bakery Hut. I am getting weak. I need butter chicken.”
“I want to go to pee. Cough..cough..see even I am coughing. I am also not feeling well.” Off with our over acting I turned around to see Swapnil all alone in her hot seat. I smiled at her. She gave a blink and a grin that didn’t last for even 5 secs as if someone just clicked a picture of hers and then she returned back to her newspaper. That was one thing I often tried reading every morning but only half of the front page got the fling to input my neural networks not more so often like they changed the weights of Manudev’s who was also preparing for UPSC just like Lovee.
Till the time we reach our fourth and final period everyone is exhausted....I mean half of the initial number of people left in the class out of which some left after the first period itself and some attended only the second and third period. I took a pen from my bag and started scribbling on the table.
“What are you doing? Writing that joker’s name again are you?”
“He is not a joker. He is better than any other boy in this institute.”
You see, since I am writing this story I am not gonna tell you who the person whose name I was scribbling, is. But probably half the people who will read it will already know and half of you would have guessed it wrong
“Appu’s hairs are looking nice today.”
“Hmmm...even Siya’s are looking good.”
“They look good every day. Appu’s is something new for a change.”
“Poor Appu....there is some or the other problem with her every time. Now that she has become thin her eye sight betrayed, fighting with the spectacles every time she is.”
“So the Jhad akshish and bhay akshish............” it was hard to concentrate on what other boys were doing when Sangeeta was disturbing consistently with her Antenna theory. What is the use of attending the lecture when 3/4th of the course is for us to complete. If we are capable enough to study 3 parts, then I think we can manage 1 more part as well. By the way this is only till the minors are ahead. One week before minors we are rushing to Mata Mandir to get her notes photo copied and then calling each and every possible source to get an idea as to the head or toe of the Photostat.
“Chalein ghar?” Appu always wants to reach home before someone even says Bye.
“Wait. First let’s finish our Tiffin.”
It’s my bad luck whenever I bring beans for lunch, no body considers to even touch it and that reduces the count of lunch boxes to three as Appu seldom ushers hers when it is a half day.
“Oye.....I want to become Daddy for once”, I hit up for.
“No, I am Daddy”, Sneha claimed.
“You have been Daddy for last one year. Now it’s my turn.”
In the middle of the whole conversation Swapnil’s voice came out, “Arey....first tell me if I have been reproduced or not? One day I am your child the other day I am back in the embryo stage.”
“Shut up. Bacche badon ke beech me nahi bolte. First let us decide who is going to be your mummy and daddy, and then we will decide when to reproduce you.”
No ..no..this is not another case of homosexuality. It’s just one of our sick games that we play to make a monotonous college life a little fascinating. Okay I agree it’s more than sick, kind of mental.
The tiff between me and Gappy continued till we reached our scootys. I guess we have been fighting for daddy’s post since I don’t know when, not to mention the constant reproduction and embryonisation of Swapnil whenever we wished.
“You know what”, Appu changed the topic, “that ‘kala kauva’ was teasing Makhi by fevi’s name when they were sitting together.”
I came up with my usual despo remark, “shit man! I wish I was sitting with Vikalp. When will that day come when somebody will tease me by another boy’s name?” All three of them started laughing as if I knocked a joke. Nobody takes me seriously. Father forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.
“Kisi ko to chhod de Kamini.” Out came a unanimous comment and the chuckle continued.
It was getting late so we headed off with our vehicles as usual all five of us blocking the road while the entire lane in front of MANIT blurted with loud Beeps.
On my way home I took a turn from RRL and we bid goodbye to each other.
“BYE POO...”
“BYE SU...”
Without that final touch the day would have been incomplete. And so I went on that broken path anticipating another day like this which wouldn’t last long, but just for another year when this whole system will throw us into different walks leaving us pining for a reunion which might not happen for a decade. And even when it does happen, I am not sure Gappy would still want to fight for becoming Daddy when her husband would be standing beside her or even Swapnil who will be apprehensive to call us Mummy Daddy in front of her subordinates when she becomes an IAS.
